Axis Lunch.

Saddam walked to the bistro knowing that this lunch was going to be bad.
He had been getting phone calls from that little German man ever since he had arrived in Hell.
The first one had been when Saddam was being processed in the security line in the entry terminal.
Some lesser demon was digging through his bags when a the loudspeaker cracked to life; Saddam Hussein, please pick up the white courtesy phone.
He had ignored the call, and simply gone through the rest of the processing.
In a few short days Saddam had moved from the Paris Hilton Motel and into his own post war ranch just at the foot of the Hell E Wood hills.
In the weeks that followed Saddam got a good job with the post office and had his own route.
Still every night when he returned home his answering machine and e-mail box was full.
That little German creep!
So it was to be that Saddam was to give in and agree to meet.
The bistro was empty save for the passed out drunk, and the creep.
"Saddam, I am so pleased you came!" Said the creep as he stood and welcomed Saddam to the table. "Please, sit, I have so much to ask, so much to offer..."
Saddam set his hat on the table and took the chair opposite his host.
"Do you know who I am?" the creep asked.
Saddam felt an intense hate for the man. Here was a person, an enemy, so full of his own importance that he could not see that he was in fact a little no body.
"My name is Adolf Hitler and".
"I know who you are" Saddam interrupted "Every child knows of you."
Hitler looked both pleased at being recognized, and disturbed at being interrupted.
Saddam leaned in and spoke in a slow even tone;" You were a disturbed little puppet, your doctor had you impaired on drugs, your staff were degenerate idiots, and you never got your hands dirty. Sure you had millions killed at your order, but you rose to power because other people wanted it, You had almost god like power and respect when you started, but you squandered it and became a sad little joke of a man."
Hitler stood so fast his chair fell on its back, His face red and swollen with anger.
"You dare slander me?" Hitler shouted, fists waiving in little circles.
Saddam stood and stepped around the table and into Hitlers face in one fluid movement that also brought the blade of his dagger inches from Hitlers nose.
"I killed many in my time you pathetic little man, I felt the life drain from my enemy's, I Stood up to the Americans and I have divided them, I have turned their old allies against them, I Did this, not you. Call me again and I will kill you."
Saddam turned, picking up his hat, and strode away.
Hah, Fuck Hitler...Bitch!